Me and my big mouth are back standing on the far edge of the weekend; ready to jump to the heights of the incoming week. This weekend I attended a debut of a friend who I haven't come in contact with for quite some time. The fact that I got invited was already an honor. The memories that overflowed my mind during the party was what made me wonder; what really happened?
The debutante is an ineffable, expressive, and unique woman. She's a movie buff, unconventional thinker, and a bookworm to say the least. I would not go deeper in her description for honestly, even if we have spent so much time in the past together in our circle of friends, I do not know that much about her. One thing's for sure, she's a person of class.
With an opener of prayers ranging across all major religions, this ain't your ordinary debut. You also got a well-executed and spine-tingling monologue from "The Despair of Judas" as an opening act.
Me and my three roomies were all seated antisocially in table 5; separated from the others. I guess we're on a league of our own. Yup, the food was nice and so was the sheer sense of nostalgia from the 1920's theme.
As pictures of her flashed on the screen, I started to realize how much she changed the lives of so many awesome people out there including me. I had a taste of philosophy, a fair share of movies, and some interesting talks with her.
Furthermore, in a personal level, she inspired me to do what I do in music and blogging. My mind screamed self-expression and standing out after meeting her. In fact, the movies she introduced to me pretty much sums up what time with her is like. From the eccentricity of "Science of Sleep" to the thought-inducing "Mindwalk," I always thought I got an idea of what she was like; the way I always did after meeting any person back then. Yup, I admit I am quite a judger back then. Nonetheless, she is very interesting.
In fact, I made an album back then to sort of symbolize what I've gone through in our small set of friends. An album of "firsts"; first party, first love, first regret, first dance, you name it. It was all composed in the key of A, as a sort of small tribute to her, plus, the key of A sounds awesome. I never did finish that album after realizing how crappy my work was back then. That's what you get when you ask a person of class's opinion about it. It's all right though. A little criticism can go a long way in improvement.
Anyway, as the 18 quotes and scenes went on (a different take on the 18 candles and roses), I wanted to remember how she's like. The heart-warming messages from all her closest friends jogged my memory a bit until I vividly remembered everything my roomie told me about my crush on her back then. I thought of it as being young, blinded, and foolish. He said it was the best inspiration which helped me become who I am today.
I remember spending all night talking in the prayer room until almost 2 in the morning about personal stories and random shizz about our lives. I remember eating together every dinner. I remember celebrating our birthdays and Christmas together. I remember chatting on Facebook when we were busy. I remember the fights and immediate disbanding of it all. I now realize we're all just busy and incapable of having the fun we used to have. It seems we have our own paths now.
One of her roommates in the 18 quotes said her message and suddenly welled up in the end of her speech after much reminiscing about the sleepless nights they used to spend with each other. It kinda made me tear a bit inside. Well, I kinda miss when the seven of us used to hang together. But who am I to impose a reunion when others might not have the same view as mine.
It's the oldest you've ever been and the youngest you'll ever be. Seems like a pretty cliche thing to say on a birthday but what the heck. It kinda brought my heart in a washing machine and left it out to dry for a moment. I'm in the drying phase right now. I just feel so heavy-hearted about all of the past events. Heck, it even went as far as back in my childhood when I realized how little I have been doing in my life.
I now reviewed the album I made in freshmen year with critical ears. I was really "something" back then. I then reviewed everything I made after that (Jazztech, Piece of Pi, LP). It was an evolution. I knew I needed to continue my work in music.
I'll just leave myself with these words from good ol' Dr. Seuss. "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
Along with that, a tune I can't seem to get off my chest. "Melancholy sky, you made me blue. Still hanging on, there's nothing I can do... not this time." - Goldfrapp
"When you get déjà vu, it just means you're on the right track." Hopefully...
- taken from a Paranormal 101 talk back then
Sometimes...I do look back.
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