This Will Change Your Life

Me and my big mouth are opening up with an all-new segment! Fictional Fanmail, where my imaginary audience finally gives me a piece of their non-existent minds. All letters under this segment are REAL and are from REAL people; I mean that in the most ironic way possible.

Enough fiddle-faddle then! On to the first fanmail from... everyone who has read my blog!

Wow! Let's open it up!

Well...
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This is probably the BEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO ME! I was really aiming for an asshole-esque, bitch-like, bullshit-approach for my blog. Besides that, my blog is really jamming their computers! It must be a real party over there when you guys are reading my blog.

In fact, they love my blog so much, they wanna fuck me... Okay guys, loving my blog is one thing, but making love with me is entirely different. Control yourselves! Sheesh... and I thought I had problems.

Listen readers, the best way to fuck with someone is to mess them up with your bullshit. Exactly what my blog is doing right now... But that message only goes to those who sent me this first fanmail.

Sarcasm; the kind of bullshit that fucks everyone up. The title says it all, doesn't it?