Watermelon Seeds, Cholesterol, Horse Testicles, Free White Mocha Frap, Chris Corner, and a Beautiful Waxing Crescent

Me and my big mouth had a great day back in the province. Are you ready, Diary? This is going to be a long one...

Dear Diary,

I had a great day in the province. (Yup, it's worth repeating) In fact, it's so great that it would be a futile attempt to summarize it in just one go. So I decided to divide said day into to sub-topics so you could keep up, Diary.

Watermelon Seeds

What was I missing? I never knew you could eat these things; let alone how much time it could pass. Once you crack the shell and eat the nut inside (which surprisingly tastes like tea), it's hard to stop. I found my new snack which apparently has less salt than your standard peanut with all the nuttiness nutrition a standard peanut can offer. Funny thing though, I have a cousin who hates these seeds, because his logic goes like this:

You don't just get the seeds and throw the watermelon away. One has to eat a watermelon, spit out the seeds, dry them, and then salt them. Even though the seed has already gone through drying and salting, the fact that these seeds have been in someone's mouth disturbs him.

Cholesterol

Oh yeah, why did we go to the province, Diary? We were running low on vinegar. And why not buy from your usual grocery? Because vinegar from the province kicks so much more ass than commercial vinegar! So you're saying Diary that we went all the way to the province just for vinegar? We SO could! But don't forget, Diary. It's nearing All Souls' Day. We have to pay a visit to my uncle and my cousin (his daughter) who both died of kidney failure. My cousin's kidneys failed first so my uncle donated his. Unfortunately, his kidney eventually failed as well. Scary thing is that it runs in the family... RIP

Why won't it run in the family? We live on eating anything salty from chicharon (local pork rinds) with vinegar, to fresh-from-the-river seafood with vinegar. Anyway, back to cholesterol.

Remember, "fresh-from the river" seafood. We have boiled shrimp served with sour mangoes. We have live, raw river crabs (talangka) salted and eaten with vinegar. MORE RIVER CRABS. MORE VINEGAR. It's a stomach killer if you're not used to it and a heart killer since it's pure protein and cholesterol in a shell. My dad can only eat two. I ate eight. Good times... It's been a while since I ate those bad boys, err, I mean bad girls.

Fun facts:
The females are easier to pry open.
Yes, gay crabs exist.
The female and gay crabs have more fat. YUM!

Horse Testicles

If you think it's my first time seeing horse testicles or that horse testicles have something to do with my family pastime, you are so wrong in so many ways, Diary. The cemetery is near a barangay (a subdivsion of sorts) called Barangay Bayag-Kabayo; translated, Horse Testicles. As funny as it sounds, it's no laughing matter. It's been an infamous site and burial place of many salvage victims since there is also a crude cemetery in the area. Don't worry, that's not where we're going, Diary.

For more funny names of places in the Philippines, click the orange, out-of-place hyperlink disguised as understandable text to guide the reader more efficiently to an appropriate site.

Free White Mocha Frap

It's been a while since I've dropped by Starbucks... There happened to be a promo in Starbucks, my mom had a load of receipts, so it's FREE FRAPS all around for the entire family! (except for you Diary, you're not family) Suddenly, memories of freshman year flash before my eyes... whatever.

Chris Corner

I have been listening to Sneaker Pimps and IAMX during the entire trip. I just realized how awesome this man is. Besides having these two projects under his belt, he writes, sings, and produces all of his songs. One of the best frontmen I know. I'd say he's a cross between Brendon Urie and Lady Gaga. He's known for the trip-hop sound back in the 90's and now with the cabaret-esque synth-pop atmosphere with operatic vocals IAMX is known for. This man makes me bi-curious and atheist in so many ways... No, Diary. This is not a phase... this is just music. And his is simply enchanting and passionate.

A Beautiful Waxing Crescent

The moon looks bigger than usual the night we arrived back home. A happy Halloween I guess. A hauntingly beautiful way to end the day...

Though this is not the original picture, this it what it looked like; with the actual color and angle. Obviously not the actual size.

As always, your silence is reassuring, Diary. 



Sincerely mine,
Me and My Big Mouth

Learning Helplessness

Me and my big mouth. Here. Blogging. 11:47 PM. October 26, 2011. My house. Family computer. Windows XP SP2. Seriously I still have an XP? At least it's not a Vista... Serial number: Too personal. Hmmm. Fine, I got no intros planned for this one.

Dear Diary,

How's the sem break doing for you, Diary? We haven't gotten in touch for a while since I'm also working on other blog posts. Don't fret though, this post will be a good personal one. I promise.

It occurred to me that I have a fixed face that's either dead serious or freakishly happy. To back this fact up I have two artists in music I am a fan of:

TRICKY

&

APHEX TWIN (As seen in Fictional Fear Factors)

So Diary, what does these two have in connection with my face you ask? A LOT. 

Anyway Diary, besides this face preset I have, I am also a social introvert; basically, a guy who can hang with others but prefers to be alone. Why?

I usually speak in English back then, in an environment of provincial and local students. Due to this, I am not often listened to. Even in high school, when I learned to grasp Tagalog I couldn't get anyone to take me seriously. You see, I was always seen back then as an English-speaking, goody two-shoes, tall nerd who hasn't uttered a single curse or bad word. It wasn't all bad, in fact, I was the teachers' pet and the sisters' future-priest (Catholic school) without even trying.

After my valedictory speech (might as well be proud of it), I made a promise to myself. I will listen attentively to anyone speaking so that they won't feel what I felt when I wasn't listened to. Lastly, I won't talk to anyone unless they talk to me. If you won't listen, I might as well save my breath and spit for someone who deserves it.

So that's what society did to me back then, Diary. Learned helplessness. I learned to stop speaking and save my voice for those who are actually listening. In retrospect, it may also be a lingering fear of social rejection and alienation. Is it wrong if I do not want other people to know me better since I am sparing them from the most uninteresting and boring person of their lives? 

I speak more Tagalog nowadays but I still keep my English accent in case I need it. It's very handy for establishing professional rapports, presenting oral reports, interviews, drama and the theater, and voice-acting. If you want a sampler of my voice, watch The Park Bench produced and animated by Trevor Viloria.

Oh well... I hope I can get over this social dilemma soon, Diary. It's now 12:48 AM, one hour since I started. I should get some shut-eye. For now, I am really thankful for my family and friends. Thanks guys for coping with my dullness. I'm really glad that I don't waste anything when I talk to you guys. 

I guess I need someone to talk to and I am beyond willing to listen. That's why I got you, Diary...

Bittersweet, ain't it?

Sincerely mine,

Me and My Big Mouth

Diaryhea

Sorry for the inconveniently long wait! Me and my big mouth are going through hard and stomach-churning times, literally. Apparently I have diarrhea for 4 days and counting... Huh... just when I snagged the summer vacation opportunity for regaining weight from the hustle and bustle of college life, I lost it all in a span of four days. Oh well, on to the diary.

Dear Diary,

How are you doing? Yeah, I'm fine. I've never been better. I mean that in the most ironic way possible. These past few days just made my summer a piece of shit. That's an understatement. I meant pieces of shit. Excuse my explicitly graphic words but what can you do, Diary? You're just an online excuse for the real thing. You don't have paper, ink-splattered self-expression... heck, you don't even exist. But that's fine with me, 'coz you're awesome that way.

Well, this summer ain't all bad, Diary. I've finished 12 tracks of my 18-track debut soundtrack album for Life of Pi. I can't wait to release it. I'm not really expecting much so I'm giving it away for free. Everyone has the right to music, right Diary? If you can call what I make music... I don't really blame you. Music is subjective. It's not about who made it, what it sounds like, when it was made, the lyrics, the rhythm, harmony, quality, instruments involved, techniques used, and especially the price. It's about the feeling one gets listening to it. What do you know, Diary? You don't have feelings. You only have 'em 'coz I pretend you do...

What else has happened to me, you ask? I'm becoming more... experimental. I've decided to go beyond softwares, synths, and midi for music production. I'm trying to incorporate natural sounds to my material. Imagine, the sounds of my stomach rumbling, a basketball, footsteps, drinking water, raindrops, snoring, bones cracking, a motor engine, TV static, and more. Non-instrument instruments if you will. I'm just so inspired by Bjork right now. Don't worry Diary, I'm still doing pop, acid, house, and electro. Just expanding my horizons, that's all.

It seems like you aren't much of a talker, Diary. I usually do the talking for you. Anyway, I'll end this conversation. I've still got other blogs to attend to. I'll leave you with thi statement. Life is a piece of shit. No matter how much you shine it, disguise it, deny it, and enjoy it, it's still shit. It's just a matter of getting used to it. So I guess this is where I add: WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT.



Sincerely mine,
Me and My Big Mouth

Dear Diary?

I think it's high time you get a glimpse of the ghost in the blogging machine. When all the other previous ones were just for kicks, this is where the kicks come from. This is the real deal! Everyone has their chance to get down to earth, even if their heads are underground and their feet are in the clouds...


So... what's up with me? I am who I am. A constantly evolving rare breed of human who is alarmingly endangered (and so is the rest of the human race). I'm a guy who takes pleasure in the simplest of things. I'm easily satisfied but that does not mean I'm boring. I can be as daring as any introvert who would dream to be daring (trust me, that's daring).


But enough of all the small talk. I'm a guy. A musician of sorts who takes pride in finding the natural in the artificial. An assuming actor who believes in acting naturally. A person who is always in love and keeps his mind at that state. In short, I'm different, deal with it. I can be the worst person in your world. Or I can be the best person in my world. It all depends on perspective.

So now that you get the picture... above, I'll officially start the Diary of a Big Mouth...


Dear Diary,

This is my first post in your name. Aren't you excited, Diary? We're finally moving on to better things, better people, and better blogs. Well, it's just that... time moves by so fast that all the good things and bad things happening to us are becoming an indistinguishable blur only we can understand and make out. I guess that's the effect of the two hell-blazing months of summer.


I'm starting to consider acting now, isn't that something Diary? Either the summer heat has finally got to me or I got spring fever (though spring is not supported in the Philippines, it is chronologically the time of spring). But anyway, I'm really looking forward to it. Why? Think about the years of stage fright on your personal record and suddenly here comes a modern take on Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing," which you freakin' nailed as Coach Leonato (let me stress, "MODERN") by adding epic adlibs and gaining audience appeal. I felt different on the stage at that time, as if the stage was my personal journal that everyone can relate to.


As for music, I'm still going strong. I've been exploring every possible avenue of sound in my amazing software. I'm a fan of Gorillaz, Blur, Radiohead, and especially... BJORK! God bless that woman! Feel free to criticize all you want Diary but these talented people have always been my light in the dark tunnel of life and music. As my friend told me, I need the passion and organic uniformity present in my work. Even I have to agree that my sound is all over the place like bacteria. It's kinda unhealthy for me as a composer if I can't be recognized by people. Yup, I'm going to the next level. Who isn't? Making songs and instrumentals for an audio diary for one's amusement is only fun for so long. When you hear people wanting more, you can't help but get your creative juices flowing...


For romance, I've got nothing planned yet. Yes, I'm in love with someone, Diary. But I just like to keep it that way. The feeling of love makes me more productive. And thus, I am taking advantage of this chemically-induced cloud nine to make my day, instead of breaking my heart afterwards. I love her.


Back to me, I'm a nice guy, right Diary? I'm just slightly shy, that's all. But honestly, getting to know me starts with "them". I won't say hi nor tell them why unless they make the first move of saying hi to make the job easier. Don't worry Diary, I'm working on it. Just as long as they're working on it too, know what I'm sayin'?

Anyway Diary, I hope we savor the last weeks of summer. You're the best public online social blogging diary a guy like me could ever have. Hope we have more to say to each other. For the meantime, I'll be going back to my previous blog posts. Self-expression, provocatively amusing shizz and all that...



Sincerely mine,
Me and My Big Mouth