Me and My Quotes 1

Here are some quotes straight from me and my big mouth...

"The grass is always greener on the chemically enhanced side."

"The grass that got greener died shortly after, so they decided to conclude that it seems greener if you look at it from outside a greenhouse."

"The chicken crossed the road to prove its stereotype wrong."

"Life is more than breathing."

"Life is a bitch, go fuck it."

Mass media didn't approve of the previous quote, so they changed it to: "Life is a witch, go suck it."

"A witch also means an edible North Atlantic flatfish..."

"The best things in life are stolen."

"Don't be the best. Be better! Better always beats best, no matter how good it is."

"Awe is a logical word. Too much of it is bad (awful). Just enough of it is best (awesome)."

"Music is the celebration of sound."

"Singing is the celebration of oxygen."

"Talking is the celebration of tongue and saliva."

"Sleeping is sound, oxygen, tongue and saliva put together in a motionless celebration of life."

"Everything happens for a price... eventually."

Correction: "Everything is priced for a reason."

"Anyone can be beautiful but not everyone can afford it."

"Beauty is in the eyes of the customer."

"The customer is always right, only if he/she buys something."

"Love is nature's way of fooling us into procreation."

"You are what society tells you to be."

"Society is what the government tells it to be."

"The government is supposed to be what the people tell it to be."

"Health is the act of delaying death."

"I'd rather dream awake than live life sleeping."

"Dreams are as real as the reality of the person who made them."

"Nothing to fear but God Himself."

"Fools rush in where alcoholics fear to drive."

"Try, try, until you try dying."

"Better to give up than to give in."

"Better to shoot than reload."

"When life gets meaningless, use a dictionary."

"What is patriotism without world peace?"

"We tend to lose our mind when we find our heart."

"We are as infinite as our limitations."

"We are accidents waiting to happen."

"Humans are capable of finding organization in the most chaotic of systems."

"Humans are the masters of making their own disasters."

"Rules are meant to be broken, laws are meant to be debunked."

"There is no such thing as ignoring someone on purpose."

"The internet is the safest highway to travel in at illegal speeds."

"When life gives you artificial lemon flavoring, make lemonade."

"When life gives you real lemons, make lemon-scented detergent."

"When life gives you lots of free time, write a blog entry."